Another spelling poem

This is a poem, and it rhymes. See if you can read it like it should be read.

When the English tongue we speak.
Why is break not rhymed with freak?
Will you tell me why it's true
We say sew but likewise few?
And the maker of the verse,
Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
Beard is not the same as heard
Cord is different from word.
Cow is cow but low is low
Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose, dose, and lose

And think of goose and yet with choose
Think of comb, tomb and bomb,
Doll and roll or home and some.
Since pay is rhymed with say
Why not paid with said I pray?
Think of blood, food and good.
Mould is not pronounced like could.
Wherefore done, but gone and lone -
Is there any reason known?
To sum up all, it seems to me
Sound and letters don't agree.

Another useful link

http://www.moe.gov.sg/edsoftware/ir/files/gp-essay-helper/index.html

try it, you might like it!

A nice joke

A snail was going down the street and he gets robbed by two tortoises. The police interview him afterwards and he says "I don't know what to tell you, it all happened so fast."

More useful stuff

Check out this link to a Singapore site about GP. I'll try and find some more

http://generalpaper.wordpress.com/

Some helpful links

These might be useful for your other subjects. They are not necessarily aimed at Cambridge exams, but might be useful anyway.

General Links
S-cool - revision materials for A-levels, including hints and tips for passing exams
Topmarks Education - covers a wide variety of subjects
Revision Notes - free notes to print off on all the main subjects as well as Classics, Psychology, Sociology, Law, Media and Business Studies
Tutor2u - resources for Economics, Business Studies, Politics and Music
Revision World - covers Biology, Economics, Business Studies, Chemistry, Physics, English, Geography. You need to register for this free site.
Exams Tutor - subscription-only revision service, covering the three Sciences, Psychology, History, Business Studies, Maths and English Literature

Subject-specific Links
Exam Solutions - worked answers and specimen Edexcel past papers for Maths.
Maths Revision - Sections on Pure Maths, Mechanics and Statistics
School History - this site covers the Tudors and Stuarts, 19th Century Britain and 16th to 20th Century Europe. Sections on the American revolution and civil rights movement.
Spartacus - fact-filled site covering diverse periods of history and countries
Biology Mad - aimed at those studying AQA (spec A) Biology, this site contains notes, worksheets, interactive tasks and quizzes
Creative Chemistry - this Chemistry site includes three modules for AS and two modules for A2
Re:act - Nuffield Advanced Chemistry - this website is for post-16 students studying all A-level chemistry specifications, IB and Scottish Highers
AS/A2 Physics - Edexcel course with units on Mechanics, Radioactivity, Electricity, Thermal Physics, Topics, Waves and our Universe, Fields and Forces and Synthesis
Kay’s AS & A2 Geography - this site is for UK AS, A level, Access course (HEFC) and Scottish Higher Geography students

Thoughts for the Day

Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.
Alexander Graham Bell

The road to success is always under construction.
Unknown

It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question
Eugene Ionesco

Strange things to say

Strange things to say.
If you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!
Don't look at me with that tone of voice
That question was so easy you could have answered it blindfolded.
Math illiteracy affects 7 out of every 5 people.

Definitions not in a dictionary
Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Handkerchief: Cold Storage.
Polarize: What penguins see with.
Shellfish: A bit like a shelf.

Exam answers - real ones!!

Exam Answers
The following questions and answers were collated from last year's British GCSE exams (16 year olds)!

Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Sociology
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts-the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains thebrain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does *varicose- mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term *Caesarean Section.
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

English
Q: What does the word *benign- mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Technology
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Indian man wears.

The Death Penalty

This is where I got all the information about the Death Penalty from. Lots of interesting stuff here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/capitalpunishment/

Old words, new meanings

These are not serious, just a joke, OK?


Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Frisbeetarianism (n.) The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.


We also took any word from the dictionary, altered it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supplied a new definition.


Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

Ignoranus (n): A person who's stupid AND an asshole

A Spelling Poem

Check out this poem, it does rhyme!!


I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, lough and through?
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps?
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird,
And dead: it's said like bed, not bead -
For goodness sake don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt).
A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother,
And here is not a match for there
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there's dose and rose and lose
-Just look them up - and goose and choose,
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword,
And do and go and thwart and cart
- Come, come, I've hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Man alive!
I'd mastered it when I was five!

A few jokes

Teacher: Name two pronouns?
Pupil: Who?, me?

Teacher: I'm glad to see your writing has improved.
Pupil: Thank you
Teacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though!

Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!

Teacher: You copied from Ahmad's exam paper didn't you?
Pupil: How did you know?
Teacher: Ahmad's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!

The Haven of Peace

Thought you might like this.

Have a look at this interesting travel article about Brunei from a British newspaper, the Daily Mail. As you can see from the description of the first picture, not entirely accurate, but interesting to see how Brunei is viewed by the outside world.
http://www.travelmail.co.uk/travel/Brunei/Brunei----don-t-just-fly-by.html?article_id=27156

Also, look at this Youtube video, which is from a BBC travel documentary about Brunei

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xvApwmbmdo

Looks like a really nice place, must visit there sometime!!

Assessment

AK's L6th Class. Assessment next week. Focus will be on the structure of your essay. You have the content, now you need to focus on links, conclusion, intro topic sentences etc.