I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school.
I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked
I put it in a safe, but lost the combination.
I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload
My little sister ate it.
Jokes
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.
She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
The boy replied, "A puppy!"
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one student rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl.
"Well, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.
"No." replied the boy.
"I'm the principal's daughter." said the girl.
"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.
"No," she replied.
"Thank goodness!" said the boy with a sign of relief and ran off.
Calling in Sick
A high school had a policy that the parents must call the school if a student was to be absent for the day.
A girl decided to skip school and go to the mall with her friends. She waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself.
This is the actual conversation of the telephone call...
Girl:"Hi, I'm calling to report that Kelly so-and-so is unable to make it to school today because she is ill.
Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?"
Girl: "This is my mother."
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